For this story we return to medieval Japan and Miyamoto Musashi, whom I spoke of earlier. When he was very young, before he found The Way and became the greatest swordsman of all time, he was a lout. A real bad apple. He would lose his temper for no reason, and when he did, he was mean.

There was this one day when Musashi had gone ballistic and cut up a lot of people, and as a result his entire village had gone on the warpath. Musashi ran into the forest and was doing a pretty good job of avoiding being captured by running like the wind when necessary. Along comes this Buddhist priest, Takuan, who claims to be able to capture Musashi without any more bloodshed. But he claims the right to choose Musashi's punishment, which doesn't sit well with the villagers because they want to cut Musashi's head damn fool head off. But they haven't been able to catch him, so they agree.

Takuan takes Musashi's friend Matahichi's main squeeze, Otsu, who really really hated Musashi for reasons I won't go into, into the hills and lights a fire. They sit drinking sake. After a few hours, Musashi drifts in. I guess the combination of a warm fire, wine, and a woman are too much for him. To cut a long story short, over the next several hours, Takuan persuades Musashi to give himself up without a fight.

They return to the village. Takuan chooses Musashi's punishment to be bound to a branch at the top of a cryptomeria tree. Musashi agrees and is bound there without a fight. The next morning, after the mother of all thunderstorms, Musashi is truly PO'ed. He fights against the bonds, and tries to break he tree by thrashing about. To no avail. He curses the priest.

After several days of this, Otsu, who repents of her hate because of his suffering, sneaks out at night and cuts Musashi down. Together, they run away into the night.

There are many messages in this story. One is that you should never trust priests who speak with fine words. Another is that you should never allow yourself to be bound to a branch at the top of a cryptomeria tree (but that probably goes without saying). A third is that your friends will set you free.

There are some important questions remaining though. What the hell is a cryptomeria tree? Apparently it's a species of cypress. It's probably not important, but I thought you'd like to know that.

Those who are familiar with Japanese culture (in particular, those whose familiarity starts and ends with Japanese cuisine) will wonder why the priest Takuan was named after a pickle. The opposite is in fact the case - the pickle is in fact named after the dude because he invented it.